Politics

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Get Out of Jail Free

There are some things that everyone simply agrees upon. It doesn’t matter if you’re left, right, black, or white. Example: Rape. We all agree on the fact that rape is a horrific crime and deserves punishment.

So where do we go from there? We all know rape is bad, so what the fuck do we do about it? First, you outlaw it. So when one commits the act of rape, you can properly charge them, and give them their constitutionally mandated day in court. If found guilty by a jury of their peers, they will be punished according to the law. This is America.

So you may understand when I get absolutely fucking irate at the news of George Bush commuting Scooter Libby’s prison sentence. How fucking dare he. The pathetic piece of cunt. If sending thousands of Americans to their demise for absolute bullshit reasons wasn’t enough, he is now circumventing the entire judicial process by letting his partner in fucking crime slip out of jail. A literal GET OUT OF JAIL FREE CARD.

What could possibly possess the world’s most hated American president of all time to complete bend over our court system and bang it in the ass? In this article, Bush says that the prison term is excessive. He also said the $250,000 punishment was “harsh.” Fucking blow me you scum bag lying fuck. Let me tell you…

Fuck Valerie Plame. She used her job as a political tool and was hardly a CIA agent. Regardless, Scooter Libby obsctruced justice, lied to investigators, and tarnished the already horrifically scarred sanctity that used to be called the White House. It’s so dirty now, it’s like a big black house. Like the one you see at the end of a winding road on Hitchcock films. That is what our White House has become.

Bush needed to stand up, and say he wouldn’t stand for corruption in his government. Bush should have stood up and said “Because this man was part of this White House and this executive branch of my controlled government, I believe he should face the full extent of the law with no exceptions.” There is nothing more serious than the reputation and image of our leader. So when the leader of your Vice President’s staff gets convicted of breaking a federal fucking law, you send them packing and make them go far away for a long time. How dare they embarrass you.

This is all very logical and rational, right? We’re all in agreement here. He committed a crime, was found guilty in a court of law, and now he should serve it. If you do disagree, then pretend he raped your wife. Then ask yourself if anybody with the moral fiber of George Bush should be deciding what is excessive.

The fact of the matter is, everything I’m saying is right. Bush knows it too. It’s completely reasonable. Pretend the White House is your company that you work at. If anyone at your job did this, and had its company name attached to this man and the crime he committed in every news story, he’d be fucking canned.

Here’s the truth. Bush has to commute the sentence. He has no choice. Why? Because Scooter has a mouth that he can use to punish Mr. Bush if he lets him goto jail for 30 months. That’s why. It’s quite simple.

Let us shift our perspective to Scooter Libby. You have a great job, you lead the staff for the Vice President of the great United States of America. Sweet gig. Your, quite literally, evil boss gets you involved with some shady shit. You’re instructed to play politics and invalidate this Valerie Plame bitch. Hey, he’s your boss. Do the job, no big deal. You’re the chief of his staff, this is what he has hired you for.

Well, you get in big trouble for it. For following orders. Your career and life is ruined. The shame, the humiliation, the anguish. You reach out to your bosses, and they tell you to just wait to see what happens with the trial. He’s guilty. He asks for help again. They say wait for the appeal. It’s at this point, the White House knows that they have to commute his sentence, even though it will be enormously embarrassing and completely fucking wrong, Universally, folks. It’s the wrong thing to do.

But he had no choice. It’s a simple equation. The shame from commuting his sentence now is nowhere near as bad as what would happen if a scorned Scooter Libby opened up his big fucking mouth. A whole lot of lives, legacies, and political careers would be ruined if an insider decided to burn the house down. And the is the only logical reason for the President of the United States of America intentionally doing something so incredibly immoral and wrong.

Posted on July 2, 2007 at 12:31 am 150 Comments

This post is filed under Politics.

A Means To An End

Here we again, with these fucking gas prices. Ah, how I fondly remember just a few months ago; America was begging OPEC to cut production because the supply was far too high to allow their usual profit margins. I remember it was cut once, just before it got to around 2.20 locally here. Then it got cut again a couple months later.

Now, there is suddenly a supply problem? Is it Iraq? Iran has been playing nice lately, so it can’t be them. Let’s throw a fucking rock and see what reason we can hit in the ass to explain our thievery.

It needs to stop, and that’s the bottom line. I don’t care about the free market, your stocks, or the idea of capitalism. I just don’t care. This should be illegal, and I will explain why.

It is absolutely morally wrong, and bordering on extortion when these fucking scumbags, literally making more money than they could possibly ever spend, an ungodly amount, raise the price of gas just as everyone is getting ready to go on vacation.

Fuck supply. We had a great supply and OPEC fucked it up, at the mercy of the American oil industry. There is no supply problem. It’s all about maintaining revenue levels. Then when this time hits every year, they bend us over and big oil has their way with our anus. I, for one, do not enjoy the oil overlords molesting me in such ways.

This time of the year is not about maintaining revenue. It’s about growing them. Which is terrific if you believe in the free market and all that good stuff. But it’s not slow growth. It’s an explosion of financial difficulty to the entire American middle and lower class. It’s rape. There’s no Katrina to blame it on this time fuckers. You’re thives.

Now here’s the punchline. Here’s what needs to happen now. The house and senate need to act now to put profit caps on essentials of life. This means milk, corn, cheese, medicine, healthcare, and fucking gas. I don’t mean jello, cars, movies, or your favorite porn site. I mean the essentials Americans need to live their life. Gas is one of those items.

I do believe in the free market and capitlism. Just not on essentials of life. I don’t want to hear the lame arguements of alternative fuels, bikes, mopeds, scooters, whatever the fuck. We’re talking about here and now. It should be illegal to make a certain undefined level of profit off of an essential to life in the United States.

Let it be $4.00, I could give two shits. Just limit these motherfuckers. Let the rate change with inflation. I do not care. Perhaps it would even allow America to take more control of the world’s oil economy when the big dogs take control.

But that doesn’t work out too well for the scumbag in a suit whose only purpose in life is to suck the fucking life out of the American public. And when I say life, I truly mean life. We spend our time on gas, remember that. Time away from your family is being used to grow their ungodly bank accounts.

It needs to end, and it needs to end now. Cap their profits. Figure out a way to do it so it won’t damage the economy. Get it done. Put a roof and a limit on these absolute villains. That’s what you’re fucking here for anyway. Do some goddamn good and stop these motherfuckers. How long will they continue to sexually violate the entire American public before these douche bags in office realize they can really, really make their constituents happy by relieving them of big oils cock up their ass?

It’s a no-brainer. Limit the profits. They don’t need 500 billion a quarter, I promise you. I promise that the world will be just fine if Exxon Mobil is the #10 biggest money making company in America, opposed to #2. I promise, that if these motherfuckers in office start acting on the will of the public, America would be a better place. But unforunately, we’ve completely forgotten what Democratic America is.

Posted on May 22, 2007 at 12:51 pm 1 Comment

This post is filed under Politics, Villains.